Quote of the Day (2013-10-31)

Politicians' Logic: Something must be done, this is something, therefore it must be done.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-10-30)

Bernard Woolley (on the phone): "Yes, we will want simultaneous translators. ... No, not when the PM meets the leaders of the English speaking nations. ... Yes, the English speaking nations can be said to include the United States. With a certain generosity of spirit."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-10-29)

Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.

Westley: You're that smart?

Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

Westley: Yes.

Vizzini: Morons.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2013-10-28)

I didn't always feel this ... sedated.

Source: American Beauty

Quote of the Day (2013-10-27)

Jim Hacker: "Bernard, how did Sir Humphrey know I was with Dr. Cartwright?"

Bernard Woolley: "God moves in a mysterious way."

Jim Hacker: "Let me make one thing perfectly clear: Humphrey is not God, okay."

Bernard Woolley: "Will you tell him or shall I?"

Jim Hacker: "Tell me how he knew where I was."

Bernard Woolley: "Well, confidentially Minister, everything you tell me is in complete confidence, so equally, and I am sure you appreciate this, and by appreciate I don't actually mean appreciate, I mean understand, that everything Sir Humphrey tells me is also in complete confidence, as indeed everything I tell you is in complete confidence, and for that matter everything I tell Sir Humphrey is in complete confidence."

Jim Hacker: "So?"

Bernard Woolley: "So in complete confidence, I am confident that you understand that for me to keep Sir Humphrey's confidence and your confidence, means that conversations between him and me must be completely confidential, as confidential in fact as conversations between you and me are completely confidential."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-10-25)

Bernard Woolley: "They cannot stop us eating the British sausage, can they?"

Jim Hacker: "They can stop us calling it a sausage though. Apparently it has got to be called the Emulsified High-Fat Offal Tube."

Bernard Woolley: "And you swallowed it?"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-10-24)

Jerry: "I thought you said people dressed up when they go to the opera?"

Kramer: "People do. I don't."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-10-23)

Bernard Woolley: "May I just clarify this? You think the National Theatre thinks that you are bluffing and the National Theatre thinks that you think that they are bluffing, whereas your bluff is to make the National Theatre think that you are bluffing when you are not bluffing, or if you are bluffing, your bluff is to make them think you are not bluffing. And their bluff must be that they're bluffing, because if they're not bluffing they're not bluffing.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-10-22)

Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!

Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.

Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!

Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!

Brian: Now, f*** off!

[silence]

Arthur: How shall we f*** off, O Lord?

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2013-10-21)

Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2013-10-20)

Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"?

Gracie Hart: Because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a license plate?

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2013-10-17)

[after Eduardo has turned up in California to find Sean has moved in with Mark and working on Facebook]

Mark Zuckerberg: So how is Christy?

Eduardo Saverin: Christy's crazy.

Mark Zuckerberg: Is that fun?

Eduardo Saverin: Nope. She's actually psychotic. She's insanely jealous, she is irrational and I'm...I'm frightened of her.

Mark Zuckerberg: Still, it's nice you have a girlfriend.

Source: The Social Network

Quote of the Day (2013-10-16)

Where's your Christmas spirit? An eye for an eye.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-10-15)

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-10-14)

Carol: Fucking H.M.O. bastard pieces of shit!

Beverly Connelly: Carol!

Carol: Sorry.

Dr. Martin Bettes: It's okay. Actually, I think that's their technical name.

Source: As Good As It Gets

Quote of the Day (2013-10-13)

Ralph: Norton, I'm gonna count to five. And when I get to five you better be out that door.

Norton: I'm not a-scared of you. If you could count they wouldn't be investigating your taxes.

Source: The Honeymooners

Quote of the Day (2013-10-12)

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year's gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it's not to be. That for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably. Happy birthday? No such thing.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-10-11)

"This is our best model, the Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like, you're almost glad to be handicapped."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-10-10)

LAUNCELOT Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!

CONCORDE: Uh, I'm-I'm not quite dead, sir.

LAUNCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!

CONCORDE: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.

LAUNCELOT: Oh, I see.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-10-09)

Follow! But! follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-10-08)

Alvy Singer: Sylvia Plath - interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college girl mentality.

Source: Annie Hall

Quote of the Day (2013-10-07)

Toula Portokalos: When I was growing up, I knew I was different. The other girls were blonde and delicate, and I was a swarthy six-year-old with sideburns.

Source: My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Quote of the Day (2013-10-06)

Niles: I met someone once flying home from college. I got bumped into first class, found myself sitting there next to a positively ravishing woman. She was a bit older and I was trying desperately to be suave, so when she leaned over and suggested we join the Mile High Club, rather than admit I was unfamiliar with the term, I whispered back, "I really don't travel enough to make that worthwhile." God, that was twenty years ago.

[starts to chuckle, then]

Niles: Nope, still can't laugh about it.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2013-10-05)

Kid #3: My Mommy says smoking kills.

Nick Naylor: Oh, is your Mommy a doctor?

Kid #3: No.

Nick Naylor: A scientific researcher of some kind?

Kid #3: No.

Nick Naylor: Well then she's hardly a credible expert, is she?

Source: Thank You For Smoking

Quote of the Day (2013-10-04)

I soiled my armor I was so scared!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-10-03)

Jim Hacker: "I have made a policy decision. I am going to do something about the number of women in the Civil Service."

Sir Humphrey: "Surely there aren't all that many?"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-10-02)

George: "I'd rather be dating the blind. You know, you could let the house go. You could let yourself go. A good looking blind woman doesn't even know you're not good enough for her."

Elaine: "I think she'd figure it out."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-10-01)

Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?

Inigo Montoya: Let me 'splain.

[pause]

Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.

Westley: That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.

Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.

Westley: I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?

Inigo Montoya: There is but one working castle gate, and... and it is guarded by 60 men.

Westley: And our assets?

Inigo Montoya: Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.

Source: The Princess Bride